Buy a Laser, Give World's Deadliest Powerpoint Presentation

(Credit to "Stu" for this idea)

This project requires: 1) approximately $200; 2) the internet; 3) a desire to achieve world domination using powerpoint.

Step 1: Use your bar loan or ask your parents to gather approximately $200.

Step 2: Use approximately $200 and the internet to purchase the S3 Spyder Arctic Laser (pictured at right)

Step 3: Make a powerpoint presentation that will appeal to the general populace, especially powerful CEOs and world leaders.

Now, your average powerpoint presentation laser is less than a mere 1 mW - not world domination material. Not even close.

The S3 above, is over 500 mW. Sure, the battery only lasts 30 seconds, and there may be civil or criminal consequences to using it in certain states, but if you are successful, none of those things will matter. There will be no rule of law. Only the law of the laser.

Before you invite important world leaders to view your (deadly laser) powerpoint presentation, make sure that the world leaders or any interested terrorists will not have deadly portable lasers when attending. Buy the entire inventory to ensure your dominance.

Sure, you feel guilty - you know that fascism and totalitarianism and violent uprisings harm innocent people, but yours will only last for 30 seconds, and afterwards you will use the laser for good and make the world a better place.

Plus, in your plan, the threat of using the world's most powerful portable laser to give the world's deadliest powerpoint presentation will be enough (shock and awe!).

It is vitally important that your first powerpoint slide contain the information necessary to shock and awe. Also, since we all know that good powerpoint presentations contain verbal statements that are not included on the slide itself, add the information in the parentheses verbally:

1) "Class IV lasers can cause eye and skin burns and can set fire to materials. This is NOT a laser pointer. This is NOT a toy."

2) "Even a fraction of the beam's original power can cause eye damage."

3) "This laser can burn skin, especially at close range and with darker skin colors."

4) "This laser can burn materials, especially at close range, with darker material colors, and with more easily combustible materials." (You are all wearing dark suits.)

5) "Exposure to intense blue light can cause photochemical retinal degeneration."

6) "The bright light from this laser can distract or temporarily flashblind pilots and drivers. This can happen even at great distances. (For a 1 watt laser, the beam can distract pilots up to 45 miles away.)" (Don't make me use this capability to destroy the world's transportation systems.)

Ideally you will never have to actually use the laser itself. Remember, use the laser for good, not for evil.*

*Don't use the laser to hurt any humans, including heads of state. Evil includes pretending that you are a character from any of the Star Wars movies.