Real Americans Celebrate Kwanzaa

Americans are exceptional. As in, we celebrate an exceptional number of holidays. The holiday of Kwanzaa is both an exceptionally recent development and an exceptionally controversial one; it is steeped in politics, philosophy, criminal intrigue and higher learning. If all of that sounds boring to you and you just want to figure out what Kwanzaa is about, scroll down to watch Kwanzaabot's (Coolio's) explanation of the holiday.

Since the late 1960s, Americans have celebrated the Pan-African holiday of Kwanzaa from December 26 to January 1. The name Kwanzaa comes from the Swahili term, "matunda ya kwanza" or "first fruits of the harvest" in English and has as its goal the reaffirmation and restoration of African-American connections to traditional African communitarian culture. Kwanzaa is actually celebrated in a few other countries, but those countries complain that it's really a celebration of African-American culture and is therefore yet another instance of American hegemony. What they meant to say that it is one of many pieces of evidence that point to African-American American exceptionalism.

As holidays go, however, I have to question the placement of a holiday celebrating African-American heritage in the United States after the 25th day of Kislev and during the 12 days of Christmas. Sure, it means that yearly Christmas cards can have Kwanzaa stamps on them, but strategically someone should have seen 1976's Black History Month coming when historian Carter Woodson designated a week in February as "Negro History Week" in 1926 in honor of Abraham Lincoln and Frederick Douglass's birthdays and planned accordingly.

But I digress. This post is really about learning the history of a holiday.

While most people give Black Power movements props for harnessing black nationalism and using it to cause social and cultural change in the United States, fewer people know that they also had a hand in creating Kwanzaa.

Ronald McKinley Everett, later better known by his Swahili name, Maulana Ron Karenga, was a prominent figure in the Black Power movement, writing his first Ph.D. dissertation on African-American nationalism and his second Ph.D. dissertation on classical African morality, using Egypt as his guide.

Dr. Karenga was influenced by Malcom X, Pan-Africanist movements, and was involved in the Black United Front, which included the Black Panthers and Dr. Karenga's US Organization. The Us Organization was devoted to promoting the African-focused humanistic philosophy of Kawaida, but it eventually developed a young subgroup that developed para-military tactics and began to battle with the Black Panthers themselves.

The FBI's counterintelligence staff saw Karenga's appeals to black nationalism as an attempt to divide the United States and create internal conflict. Dr. Karenga landed in jail as a consequence of these para-military tactics based partially on testimony from his ex-wife, but claimed that he was a political victim and came out of prison with the hope that he could convert all African-Americans to his brand of secular humanism.

And so Kwanzaa was born.

The philosophy of Kawaida is based on Ngudo Saba, or 7 principles:

1. Umoja (Unity) - in family/community/nation/race
   
2. Kujichagulia (Self-Determination) - in name/creation/speech
   
3. Ujima (Collective Work and Responsibility) - in working together to solve each other's problems
   
4. Ujamaa (Cooperative Economics) - build and maintain businesses and profit from them together
   
5. Nia (Purpose) - to restore the African diaspora to its traditional greatness
   
6. Kuumba (Creativity) - to leave the community better than it was before we existed
   
7. Imani (Faith) - to believe in our people/parents/teachers/leaders and the righteousness and victory of our struggle

On each day of Kwanzaa, one of the "mishumaa saba" (seven candles) is lit, and one of the seven principles is the focus. The candles are black (people), red (struggle) or green (future and hope) and gifts reflect learning and African heritage. The first candle lit on the first day of Kwanzaa is the black candle, symbolizing that the people should come before everything else. Meditation and feasting closes out the festivities.

As promised, here is Kwanzaabot (Coolio):

Futurama
Hermes' Kwanzaa Party
www.comedycentral.com
Funny Jokes It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Ugly Americans

Mama Needs a New Pair of Shoes

I'm going to do a post about the holiday of Jesusmas at some point, but before I get there, I wanted everyone to enjoy my favorite holiday song.  We'll talk soon.

Learn the History of a Holiday*

December is a month of holidays. Some celebrate arbitrary divisions, cult leaders with great postmortem press, the Angolan currency, or shitty hotels.

These are all great holidays, but today I am going to talk about Hanukkah [Pronounced: clear throat·nuk·kah]. Hanukkah is celebrated for eight days in December. Nobody knows exactly which eight days, because calendars are hard to read, apparently. Except in the America, Hanukkah celebrations are pretty weak, although you are expected to play with fire. In America, Jews have parties, put up lots of decorations, and give their children gifts. This is so their children don't see exciting Christmas celebrations and realize the moral and cultural superiority of the American majority. They also play an excellent drinking game, which we described here.

Hanukkah celebrates the reconsecration of the Second Temple in Jerusalem in 165 BCE. In the 2nd century BCE, Jerusalem came under the control of the Seleucid Greek Empire. The Jews revolted, and in 165 BCE the Hebrew Hammer (Judas Maccabeus) kicked the Seleucids out of Jerusalem and established the nation of Israel. Since that time, the Jews have lived in peace and harmony with their neighbors, free from foreign interference, war, and prejudice.

The victorious Jews only had one day worth of oil to keep the Temple's eternal flame burning. But this oil miraculously lasted eight days, which is how long it took to get more oil. It may seem odd to us today that oil would be important in the Middle East, but things were different back then.

*The accuracy of this post compares favorably to our predictions on when the Mass. bar results would get posted.