Spend One Dollar

The lady and I are having a small Chanukah gathering and have asked everyone to bring a one dollar ($1) grab bag gift.  Evidently you get points in life if you can stretch a dollar the furthest.

I'm using my Amazon Prime (which you can get for free if you have a .edu address that's not an alumni address) to find a gift that will ship for free that's $1 or less.  So far, the best item I'm not buying is:

It's available on Amazon here for 92 cents. 

I need your help - because if I don't get it, I'm just buying a scratch ticket.  What do you think I should buy that is less than a dollar?

Engage the Crazies

I was sitting there reading the New Yorker, when I came upon this article.

Climate-change legislation in the new Congress

I didn't so much come upon it, but rather it was the first article in the magazine.  It talks about the Republican and Tea Bag refusal to accept scientific evidence of global warming.

So you're clear on where I stand on this issue, I'm not asking for laws requiring everyone to drive hybrid cars.  I'm not asking for laws prohibiting all carbon emissions - or even severely limiting them (cap and trade makes some sense to me).  I am asking that you at least let scientists who can prove global warming say so.  And let them present evidence that might convince me to buy a hybrid car.  Not to villainize them for reasons beyond comprehension.

My favorite part of this article:

[Rep.] John Shimkus, of Illinois, is one of four members now vying for the chairmanship of the House Committee on Energy and Commerce. At a congressional hearing in 2009, he dismissed the dangers of climate change by quoting Genesis 8:22: “As long as the earth endures, seedtime and harvest, cold and heat, summer and winter, day and night will never cease.” He added, “I believe that’s the infallible word of God, and that’s the way it’s going to be for His creation.” 

I like Genesis.  My bar mitzvah portion was from Genesis.  This is absurd.

My prayer?  God help the US of A not destroy the world.

Iron Your Suit (Buy an Iron)

MA is sending out emails assigning the official swearing in dates and times. The options are 9 a.m.-12 p.m. and 1 p.m.-3 p.m., and the assignment appears to be based on alphabetical order. (These emails are proof that MA BBE is just lazy and/or full of Luddites.)

After you receive your email, you will remember that you have not had the best personal hygiene due to your obsession with predicting the impending doom of bar failure, and your suits are all crumpled in the bottom of your closet.

While you may be able to pull off the wrinkled look with panache, those of us who cannot carry it off should be buying professional grade irons or spending the $ on that sketchy dry cleaning place on the corner.



Or, if you would prefer to screw it and become the stuff of bar swearing-in ceremony legend, just wear this:

Be Wary of the Pre-Official NY Bar Results

Not saying that there is no possible way for the results to be accurate, but the results posted on Above the Law list several people who failed the MA bar exam and somehow still passed the NY bar exam (if the results are real).

Reliability officially questioned.

Edit: Get your BOLE ID ready and enter it here --> https://www.nybarapply.org/bresults/bresults.asp

Edit: I got my official email - according to http://www.nybarexam.org/ you should be getting yours soon . . . .

"Notice to July 2010 Bar Examination Candidates

Results of the July 2010 bar examination are being emailed to candidates beginning on November 5, 2010. It could take up to 24 hours for your results to be received and delivered by your email system. If you have not received your results by 9:00AM on Monday, November 8, you may fax a request to the Board for a duplicate letter. Please include a current, working email address. You may also access your results by clicking here . You will need your BOLE ID. If you were successful on the bar exam and certified for admission to the bar, the attachment in the email notice of your results (“Notice of Certification”) must be sent to the Appellate Division as part of your application for admission."

Celebrate Like a Lawyer

It's getting close to crunch time - most of you have just passed the bar or will soon.  Or, if you're in California, most of you will fail the bar soon.  Sorry, but dems the breaks.

Either way, pass or fail, your best bet will be to get super fucked up super quickly.  And the best way to do this as a lawyer is to get drunk.  But not sleepy drunk.  Nobody likes a sleepy drunk. 

Evidently there's a new product on the market that is perfect for bar celebration.  It's called cocaine Four Loko.

This fruit flavored beverage is, as you can see, 11% alcohol.  But evidently that varies per state.  (Can we just, for a moment, think about how absurd it is to have a beverage that has to change its alcoholic content to be legal in various states.  Who understands these laws?  Oh - shit - that's our job.  Fuck.)  It also has caffeine.  So you get fucked up and stay up.  Perfect for either celebrating the reality that if you're lucky you'll review documents 80 hours a week for the next six years or celebrating the reality that you can put that off for another six months - or both.  In fact, this might be perfect to get you through document review. 

As I'm sure you know, however, the public outcry has been insane.  Evidently we have a reader who is a student at Boston University, which also cried out about Four Loko.  The letter sent to the entire "community" is printed below.  My additions are in red.

Dear Friends,


We want to pass along this important message about a potentially dangerous alcohol drink that has received some national press recently. We share this information first because we know you don't read the news and also so that you can continue to make smart choices about your personal health and safety while at Boston University.  And if there's time, to decide to transfer to Harvard.



There has been much fanfare recently about a fruity malt liquor called “Four Loko” and the attendant side effects which have been referred to as,! “Blackout in a can.”  [What is that ! random exclamation point?] Alcohol companies are targeting college students with these products without regard for your safety but with ample regard for your amusement. National attention has been focused on this particular beverage because of a couple of very troubling incidents at Central Washington University and Ramapo College in Northern New Jersey where students clearly don't know how to hold their liquor.


We want to take this opportunity to provide you with some information about caffeinated alcoholic beverages and about mixing caffeine and alcohol in an effort to aid you in your decision making. Mixing alcohol and caffeine is not a new concept, but the recent cases involving students who were hospitalized after drinking beverages combining the two in a large can, is a cause for concern across college campuses and elsewhere around the co! untry. Please pardon my random exclamation point. At the request of 18 attorney generals, or 18 attorneys general, the Food and Drug Administration is reviewing whether the drinks are safe.  But since the FDA already approved lots of other things that are bad for you, don't worry.  You'll still be able to find this amazing beverage. 


Four Loko is one brilliant example of a caffeinated alcoholic fruit punch beverage. The 23 ounce can of this drink contains an equivalent amount of alcohol to four 12 ounce beers and 156 milligrams of caffeine. So you know, a five hour energy has 138 mg, a 12 oz. diet coke has 45 mg, a red bull has 80 mg, and a grande starbucks coffee has 330 mg. The danger here is not just the alcohol content but rather, the combination of high amounts of alcohol and caffeine. And that you had no idea that starbucks coffee had that much caffeine.


Drinking high amounts of caffeine can cause symptoms like rapid heartbeat, shortness of breath,! BAM, I'm Emeril, dizziness, feeling jittery and nausea. When consumed in combination wi! th BAM alcohol, caffeine may produce the feeling of being “wide awake” despite the fact that one may be intoxicated on alcohol. This is a perfect combination for having a party while studying for finals. The fact that the depressant effects of alcohol are mitigated by the caffeine may lead people to continue to drink alcohol and thereby become dangerously drunk. Law school might do the same thing.



We strongly recommend that you steer clear of these types of drinks and from mixing alcohol with other caffeine containing beverages. Use soda water instead. It has fewer calories. We also recommend that you avoid mixing other substances with alcohol as a general rule. Everyone knows that vodka tastes better straight anyway. Unless it's from a plastic bottle. Then mix it with whatever cheap juice you have. Boston University is concerned for your personal safety and we hope that you will use this information to make wise health choice! s. BAM.



With best regards for your drunk and awake future,


REDACTED, Director, Student Health Services


REDACTED, Chief of Police

Start Freaking Out About Your Second Bar

Those of you who took the NY Barbri course last summer received an email letting us know that NY results will not come out until November 8 at the earliest.

And the final countdown begins . . . .

Get Ready to Vote!

What? You were or are too busy freaking out about bar exam results to care about the mid-term election?

What? You also like aesthetically pleasing websites that hand you information about the names on that ballot?

If you answered yes to one or both of the above questions, you will appreciate Project Vote Smart's VoteEasy. It lists issues from abortion to taxes, asks you questions, and tells you which candidates' platforms are closest to your own. Simple. Brainless. Helpful.

If you are one of the 85% of poli-sci majors who went to law school, then you will probably actually look at this information re: ballot initiatives. The rest of us will read the paragraph description listed on the actual ballot and make an educated guess when we vote tomorrow, based on the lessons we learned from "The Walking Dead's" pilot episode.

(Brainnnnnnnnsssssssss.)

View the results ONLINE

Yes, it happened, as cranky MA BBE employee said it would: the results are ONLINE.