Create the Perfect Dictator

History is full of dictators. How we view them varies greatly. Some we admire (Augustus, Napoleon), others we despise (Hitler, Saddam). This largely depends on how long ago they ruled, and whether they were allies or competitors. Compare "Uncle Joe" during WWII with Stalin during the Cold War.

So, what makes the perfect dictator? What qualities would they take from dictators past and present? Keep in mind that we are talking about dictators, here. These are people who rely almost entirely on force and their own skill/personality to stay in power. They are not elected officials, although they could start that way. They also do not have generations of family rule to rely on. A great thought experiment if you are stuck in Barbri (and a history nerd).

The first is obvious: they should be an ally. Allies are always nicer, more stable, and more concerned about human rights than enemies. Let's call this the "Uncle Joe" rule. It is also useful if the person was a dictator at some glorious time in the past. A good example is Augustus, who was pretty ruthless, but is remembered as ushering in the pax romana.

Here are some famous dictators, and the qualities they bring to the table:

• Julius Caesar: Be a great general. Being a great general is useful in two ways. People remember you for your exploits on the battlefield, rather than simply what you did in the political arena (destroy the Republic). It also allows you to win a civil war. It is usually best to gain your reputation as a general fighting outside enemies, rather than only during a civil war. Napoleon is also a great example of this.
• Augustus Caesar: Rule while still pretending to uphold the old Republican order.
• Other Caesars: Rule a large, stable empire with a long history of dictators.
• Lenin: Establish your rule based on a doctrine popular with the world's "intelligentsia" at the time.
• Stalin: Defeat the Nazis (or some other force of evil).
• Chairman Mao: Write a book.
• Fidel Castro and Augusto Pinochet: Adopt the economic policies of a Cold War superpower (USSR & US, respectively).
• Ruhollah Komeini: Call yourself a religious leader, and claim your powers are necessary to protect said religion. Exploiting oil wealth helps.
• Kim Il-sung: Establish a cult of personality.
• Saddam Hussein: Have your country fall apart after you are deposed. See also Siad Barre, Somalia.
• Ahmed Sekou Toure, et al: Be a post-colonial leader in Africa.
• Antonio Lopez de Santa Anna: Be persistent (ruled: 1833-37, 1841-Feb. 1844, June-Dec. 1844, Mar.-Sept. 1847, 1853-55).
• Charles Louis Napoleon Bonaparte: Take the name of a previous, better dictator. See also all the post-Julius & Augustus Caesars.
  
• Roman von Ungern-Sternberg: Have a sweet name.
• Jose Gaspar Rodriguez de Francia: Have a lot of names.
  
• Kim Jong-il: Be great at golf and love rabbits.
• Barack Obama: What? He's not a dictator? Sorry, Sarah Palin implied he was, and she seems so smart. Let's try another leftist from the Western Hemisphere...
• Hugo Chavez: Love the sound of your own voice (I know, he may not qualify as a dictator yet, but he's clearly trying).
  
• Adolph Hitler: Scream and have a shitty mustache? What the hell were the Germans thinking?

What is the common thread, you ask? Kill dissenters. Lots of dissenters. Then rewrite history in your favor.