Eat Pop-tarts, Feel Fat Afterwards

My favorite Pop-tart as a child was the brown sugar and cinnamon one. Looking back, it was probably one of the least healthy breakfast choices as far as my bone health was concerned.

Calories: 210 for 2 pop-tart

Fat: 7 g

Sugar: 16 g

Fiber: less than 1 g

Calcium: 0%

Removing the frosting somehow takes away 3 g of sugar but adds 1 g of fat (2.5 g saturated). (Why would you eat a pop-tart without frosting?)

Today, there's a wholegrain, fiber-rich "healthy" pop-tart, with 10 calories less, 1 g of fat less, and 4 g of sugar less than the regular pop-tart. Oh, and it has 5 g of fiber (great for those of us who are over 60).

What this wholegrain, fiber-rich pop-tart is noticeably lacking is Ca2+ = Calcium. Breakfast has always involved Calcium in some form - cereal and milk, bread and cheese, cheese, and more cheese. Plus some butter. Pop-tarts have none of these traditional breakfast elements. To round out this pop-tart breakfast of bar exam champions and ensure healthy bones, just add ice cream.

Take your favorite flavor of delicious ice cream, scoop some out, and put it between two unheated pop-tarts. This breakfast is great for the summer months and for regulating body temperature in general.

Plus, after a summer of eating pop-tarts with ice cream, you will inevitably develop the insulation necessary to get you through those harsh Winter months.

If you're lactose-intolerant, you can still make use of the pop-tarts, minus the ice cream, but making your own pop-tart campfire, using nothing more than your own toaster and a single poptart.

This secondary use of your pop-tarts can both give your home warmth and a homey campfire feel, and act as a wonderful home fragrance infuser (brown sugar and cinnamon, anyone?)

. . . all for just $2.49.