Plan Your Post-Bar Celebration

If this is what life would be like until the end of your days, you'd have some serious decisions to make. Fortunately, it's not. Creeping ever closer is that mythical time known as "post-bar", in all its jobless glory.

You need to plan how you will welcome this glorious new world. There are a few things to keep in mind. First, your initial embrace of this post-bar world will invariably end with drunkenness, balckouts, generally stupidity, and probably a "nap" in a ditch or on a curb. Dress appropriately. Don't wear anything you would really hate to get red wine/champagne/dirt/puke on. You also probably still have a character & fitness review of some sort in your future. Try not to carry ID. And maybe consider trying to burn off your fingerprints.

You should also plan on where you will go for your initial drink. The places right next to the test site will be packed, and you probably won't be able to get your desperately-needed shots of tequila for a couple hours. But you also don't want to walk too far, because, well, walking takes time, and you will need some of the gods' sweet nectar to help you forget the horror.

Bringing some alcohol seems like a good solution. Unfortunately, the test sites do not seem to have places to leave necessary stuff like bottles of whiskey or champagne. You could wear a coat, and stuff a few flasks in it, but it's the middle of summer. If you are driving, you can leave lots of alcohol in the car. You could even sell some of it to fellow test-takers and make some money. DON'T DRIVE. That will almost certainly end in disaster. If you have any friends meeting you who are not taking the test, have them bring some stuff. Alcohol, your cell phone, maybe a change of clothes (be prepared). If all else fails, you can always include a bottle of "water" in your little plastic bag.

Your final step is determining what bar you will go to for your first group of drinks. If you have some alcohol, you should choose a bar that is within walking distance, but far enough from the test site that it will not be impossible to get a drink. Said bar should also be within walking distance of other establishments. Go with a group, even if that means sharing some of your alcohol on the walk. You will want to share the beginning of this glorious time with others. Try luring someone cute with your alcohol; it probably won't work, but what the hell.

I know you are tempted to continue planning. You won't stay at one bar the entire night. Why not also plan on a club for later in the night? And get reservations at a restaurant? Fight this urge. Just have a bunch of drinks and shots, and let the night flow.

I know, you are an anal law student. You want to have everything planned. You find the thought of a spontaneous event terrifying, like most things that are fun. Do it anyway. For once in your life, don't be a boring, annoying, prick. An unplanned night is more likely to end up in prison, I know, but it is also more likely to result in a good story, good friends, and a good time.