Start Thinking of Excuses

You probably haven't had to do this in a while, but it's time to start thinking of excuses, and here, "My dog ate my homework" isn't gonna cut it.  You have to plan now for November.  Most of your friends will be excited in November.  They'll still have 83 months until their jobs start, but that ramen will taste oh so good when they get the letter from the bar examiners beginning with the word "Congratulations."  They will have passed the bar.  But some of you, oh faithful readers, will have another opportunity to read a blog about things to do while studying for the bar.  You will have that opportunity because you have failed the bar exam.

Now, I hope you pass.  I really do.  Unless you fuck up the curve, in which case, I hope you fail.  But if you do fail, and some of you are bound to, you will have to find a way to explain it to your friends, family, and loved ones who you haven't seen for three years.  And now is the time to begin that process of answering the question: Why did you fail the bar?

Simply saying, "it's a hard test" or "we didn't actually learn the law in law school" isn't going to do the trick.  And you know why - it's because all of those classmates who also didn't "learn the law in law school" passed the "hard test."  So you have to start sowing the seeds now.  In the next nine days (yup!) fall off of your bike and hit your head.  If you pass, more power to you.  If not, hey - EXCUSE!

What else can you do?

• Lose a loved one.
• Suffer from alcohol poisoning (you might actually not get the sympathy you want from this).
• Break your writing hand.
• Develop a learning disability.  
• Get SARS.
• Get pregnant (does not apply to gentlemen).
• Set your home on fire.
• Get arrested (but remember to ask for your lawyer, you don't actually want to spend serious time in jail and if you're stupid enough to fail the bar, you're stupid enough to say something incriminating).
• Get someone else pregnant (does not apply to ladies).
• Get married.
• Draw pictures on your flashcards.
• Finally get that book published.

Got more?  Leave them in the comments.  But just between us, you really should start figuring some excuse out now.