Wait, wait, wait...

So what's new?  Anything exciting happening soon?  OH, that's right - the results from the bar exam still haven't been released.  Well, unless you're from Illinois, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, Florida, or some state I don't really care about.  If you're from there, you have your results.  I'm waiting on Massachusetts and New York.  I expect Mass will come down this week - based solely on the week it was released last year.

Of course, waiting for the results are not the worst thing in the world.  There are plenty of worse experiences than waiting for your bar exam results.  Such as:

10. Study for the Bar Exam
What you're going through now sucks.  And why does it suck?  Because of the fear of failing.  But that's not precisely it; if this was like an IQ test for a guy on death row, you'd want to fail.  It's more about the social stigma of being the only person in the history of your {family, section, journal, high school, social class} to fail the bar exam.  And, worse, it's about having to go through this whole "learning the law" process again.  Trust me, as bad as waiting is, studying for and taking the stupid test again is wore.  Much, much, worse.

9. Shop-Vac Abortion/Castration
I covered this in the days leading up the exam.  Or, at least the abortion part.  Gentlemen, you can (but need not) imagine the male version of this (not the male version of abortion . . . you knew what I meant).

8. Crabs
You know, pubic lice?  Isn't it so much worse sounding that way?

But they're not just pubic lice anymore.  There are eyelid lice too.

7. Get Into a Creepy Fight
Like these people:














6. Oral Surgery
Because waiting for the bar is not as bad as needing to have this fixed.

And, for what it's worth, don't do meth while waiting for your bar results either.

5. Be Mel Gibson
This guy had a rough summer.  Rougher than yours.  And his was transcribed.
Do you remember when it was okay to like Mel? 

4. Lamb Chop and Friends











3. Lose Your Identity
Not because that's so bad, but because you might end up meeting Chris Hansen.  And it's never good news when you meet Chris Hansen.






2. Random Limb Amputation
OK. Here's what I won't stand for: Don't take out a saw and cut off your leg. And why? Because then I'd have to change your name to Ilene. And because prosthetic limbs are expensive.

1. Failing the Bar Exam
Let's be honest.  When you get that letter with the information on how to reapply to take the exam and when you call Barbri to enroll in the "free refresher," you're going to be longing for the days before you found out that you failed.  Ignorance - one step better than failure.

Good luck everyone.