Guest Submission: My Favorite Game

From "Matt"*:

"My favorite game during class, and now during barbri, is to imagine what would happen if two raptors were to get into the lecture hall Jurassic Park-style.  Remember in JPark when the raptor learns how to open a door?  What would they do?  Who would they go for first?  What would I do to avoid them?  Would I sacrifice my laptop?"




 *Names may or may not have been changed.

E-mail us your guest submission: StuffToDoDuringBarBri@gmail.com

Watch Trashy Reality TV Online

The people in the row behind you will thank you for giving them something to distract them from their stagnant mental state. Plus, you can lawschoolnerdout by identifying all of the tortious conduct - assault, battery, defamation, slander, libel, etc. - during each episode!

You don't watch reality television, you say?

I myself did not watch reality television until a peroxide-bleached part-time chippendales dancer who runs a GNC in the mini-strip mall in my home town of 30,000 people was a contestant on ABC's True Beauty. (Seeing how well-stocked his Louis Vuitton murse is = priceless.)

Watching people act out horrific melodramas over small conflicts will benefit you in three ways:

1) as a deterrent - it will remind you of yourself during law school final exam periods and give you the incentive you need to not torture those around you in real life as you study for the bar exam;

2) as a self-esteem booster - it will make you feel like you are the most ethical, intelligent, non-douchey person in the world - seriously, compared to reality television stars, I walk around with a neon halo and save adorable babies from imminent death five times a day;

and

3) schadenfreude, anyone?

Disagree with a Website

I was working on a post beginning with the line "this weekend is longer than most weekends."  I was going to write about how we're probably not going to be blogging as much this weekend because, well, we actually have stuff to do besides BarBri.  But I was going to link to the website: http://www.sizedoesntmatter.ca when discussing length. 

Instead I looked at the website.  It appears to be about Israel - and has the tag line, "Israel, Small country, Big Appetite for Peace" and is filled with pictures of hot looking Israeli twenty-somethings (probably post-Army).  I'm a big fan of Israel.  Not only am I Jewish - I once got on stage for parent's weekend at my college wearing only boxers with a sign on them saying "I'm Jewish and I can prove it."  And I can.

But this website seems to be sending mixed messages.  Yes, Israel is a small country, but a strong and important one, and one that needs defending.  But, there's this problem of the obvious double entendre.  We Jews have enough stereotypes promulgated about us (see, e.g., baby killing for matzah, horns).  Now they further the stereotype of the following joke:

Q: What happened to the Jew who ran into the wall with an erection?
A: He broke his nose.

Eh, what are we gonna do?

Share Your Favorite Blog

Share the blog on facebook, twitter, digg, friendster, myspace, etc. Make sure all your friends check it out.  And if you have suggestions for Stuff to do, please e-mail us at StuffToDoDuringBarBri@gmail.com.

Go for a Valk

This idea was proposed on the Keith and the Girl podcast, Episode 1173 by New York comedian Chris Iacono in an unrelated context.  At some point I will blog about podcasts, until then, check this one out.

You might have read the title and thought, "What?"  Sure this lecturer is boring, but I picked a bad seat and I'm stuck in the middle of the room.  I can't jump on the guy's head in front of me and I can't walk down the table or aisle to my right or left without doing some serious damage (trespass to chattels?) to this LLM's book and laptop.  But no - you can.  This won't burn the calories of a walk, but it will expose you to new nouns (people, places, and things).

Go to google maps.  Pick a city you always wanted to visit?  What?  You want to go to Billings, MT?  That's fine.  Start at Rocky Mountain College.  And go for a virtual walk (a v-walk, nae, a valk).  Scroll into street view, and click along the street.  Look out for fun sightings.  Walk down Poly Drive and visit downtown Billings.  One of those links should take you to the street view in Billings.  (Which one?  Ooh - another distraction for the lecture).

Or, go abroad.  Visit Barcelona.  Valk down the streets next to the mopeds. Don't get hit by a bike.  Learn some "international law" while you're there.

Discover the world from your seat in class.

Figure out a New Profession

Remember three years ago? The economy was great. 2,100 year old melons were falling from the sky. Most of the world still hadn't been introduced to Tila Tequila. Lost still sort of made sense. And you strutted into that first law school class ready to conquer the world.

Well, the economy crashed. Oops. With most of us not having jobs, and 1 out 10 NY law students failing the NY Bar, maybe it's time to consider taking that mountain of debt (oh, PS, that happened during those three years too - just because you never read the loan statements doesn't mean they didn't exist) and find a new career.

Some of my recommendations:

Kitten Wrangler

Dangerous herds of kittens probably roam the streets of your city at night. Why not round them up and sell them strangers for a few bucks?

Work for Apple in China

Yes, they may have a few Debbie Downers working there right now. But you'd probably get a 5% discount on that new iPhone. And $300 a month is more than you'd get after unemployment runs out.

Deodorant Tester

With hippies now running the Federal government, testing products on animals isn't "politically correct." Companies are always looking for people to try out their new deodorants.

Shooting Range Aiming Consultant

Yet another solid job option that awaits you in China. If you have decent hand eye coordination and great bladder control, this job's for you. At least if you have a bad day, you won't be pissed that long.

This list isn't exhaustive. Be creative. But if all else fails, you could just sue yourself for going to law school in the first place.

Eyeball Vodka

Yeah, the title isn't misleading. Load up a water bottle with some cheap vodka and just splash that shit right on your eyeball. All the cool kids are doing it. Class will be 100% better. There are no possible drawbacks.*

*For the love of God, don't do this. If you bring vodka into class, drink it like a normal person and bring enough to share.

Write a Limerick

There once was an active tortfeasor

Who was not very nice to a geezer

He gave him the clap

And pooped on his map

And then caused him to have a big seizure

What torts can the victim and his wife sue for and why?

Live The Exceptions to NY Workers Comp

N.Y. Workers’ Comp. Law § 10(1) lists the three exceptions for collecting workers’ compensation in New York.


 



These are:
1. If the employee is drunk.
2. If the employee purposefully self-inflicts the injury
3. If the injury occurs in voluntary participation in an off-duty athletic activity

Do these while watching the lectures:
1. Drink.
2. Self-inflict injury (staple your leg – trust me, it’s fun.  Cut so you can feel.  Not really.  Don't.)  Or follow the advice here.
3. Race paper airplanes - but for real - with your notes.



[This is not legal advice or actual advice.]

Finally Notify your Past Partners about your STDs

You've been avoiding it since 1L year, telling yourself you'll do it after you graduate. Guess what - you graduated. That tinge of guilt plagues your bar exam studying, and each burning bathroom visit reminds you of that girl or that guy you met at a club and how he or she is probably also experiencing that burning sensation or worse.

You know you didn't delete that person's phone number and email address from your phone, so do the right thing. Your mom would be proud.

Find a Mail Order Spouse

If you're not married/engaged by now, chances are you're basically screwed. The next two months are dedicated to BARBRI and the Bar, then the 7 people who have jobs graduating this year start to get ready for work which will suck up the next 5 years of your life. So if you're like the guy to my right, you're going to be needing to spend most of your time searching for someone to yell at you in a harsh Eastern European accent for the next 10 years. Here are some recommended websites to look over while sitting in class:

http://www.goodwife.com/

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mail-order_bride

http://www.singlebrides.com/

Take the Lecturer Literally

When he says that the clothing manufacturer is a shoe string operation, assume he means that they make shoe strings.

Read Over Shoulders

Read what fellow classmates are reading/writing on their laptops. This can be both creepy and annoying. This is particularly enjoyable when classmates are doing something semi-private, such as writing emails, surfing Facebook (increase creepy by randomly friending their friends you don't know), or Gchatting.

Stare at your Neighbor

While there's no question that the lectures are entertaining and the time just flies by, you can amuse yourself for a few minutes and stare at your neighbor to really ratchet up the creepy.

Stare at the beautiful people

This is a good idea in theory. Unfortunately, barbri is filled with law students. Most of the audience looks like this. There are pictures of beautiful people on the interwebs.

Enunciate

Duty and doodie are not the same thing.  But it would be funny if they were.

But we can have some fun with this. 

• There are six special kinds of duty.  How many special kinds of doodie are there?  (Beer poops, etc.)
• Everyone has a duty of reasonable care.  Do people have doodie that is seasonably rare?  (I don't even know what that means.)
• Doctors have special duties.  They also have special doodies.  

Add others in the comments.

Weekend Planning

Barbri class is an excellent time to plan for the weekend. IM or email fellow barbri students ideas and plans to make it interactive.

Find Waldo

Because that fucker can't hide forever.

Enter into a Legally Invalid Marriage

by marrying a pillow (Thanks Olga!)

Repeatedly Punch Yourself in the Face

Sometimes you just need to remember what it's like to feel something.

Cry

Release that emotional tension that weighs you down and reminds you that this is the worst job market possibly of all time for new attorneys. Block out the off-color (read: racist and sexist) jokes made by your Barbri video speaker with the sounds of your sobbing and wailing.

Both your body and your peers will thank you.

(Science agrees!)

Contributory Negligence?

Two-Year-Old Smokes 40 Cigarettes A Day




Thanks to classmate Marc for the lead.

Nintendo

http://nintendo8.com/all/

Play nintendo.

 
I'm a fan of Tecmo Super Bowl.  I like beating the game with the Giants, because I'm from New York and like good teams.

Shop Online

If you're taking the morning Barbri class and have access to a computer, check shopping sites like Ruelala, ideeli, Gilt, etc. These generally offer sample sales that start at either 11 a.m. or noon.

Drown your boredom by spending what little money you have left after paying law school tuition on a dress ($50) that retails for $300. Boost your self-esteem by telling yourself that only a time-efficient genius could simultaneously study for the bar AND find awesome deals online.

That genius, my friend, is you.

Men Hit By Cars

Well, we're discussing people getting hit by cars.  I need visuals sometimes.  So I looked at:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0t4wWGH51-A

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=riW0TTxVKrc

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oFky3xfARVE&feature=related

Drugs

Not that I'm personally a proponent, but the BARBRI video DID tell us to do drugs all the way through the Bar.

BarBri Is Boring

So we're looking for stuff to do. Let us know...

Read the Internets

Some of my favorite time killers:

http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/

http://www.cracked.com/

http://www.addictinggames.com/