WWHD?

I hope your post-bar life is going well and that you've had at least 2 and no more than 6 sober days since the bar exam.

My friend Doodie posted the following status this evening: "Courier New is a terrible font."  My guess is that he's writing an appellate brief (probably pro se) to some court with antiquated rules to acquire a writ of habeas corpus some hopeless result.

Of course, I replied, "Not as bad as 'Hitler New.'"  Then, because he was away from his computer and didn't respond to my stupid joke, I amended, "er, I mean Comic Sans."

But you know what?  It got me thinking.  If Hitler could use a font - which would it be?  Tell me in the comments.

I'm asking you: 

WWHD?

What Would Hitler Do?

Best Week of the Year

Oh, wow...it's Monday night the last week in July! It's time for the bar exam. And then it's time for exhausted binge drinking, the likes of which you've never experienced.

You've got one day more.

IT'S BAR EXAM WEEK!!!  YAYAYAYAY!!!

Sorry we didn't entertain you the way we entertained ourselves.  But, for words of inspiration, see our posts from our bar exam last year:

KICK ASS

by The Breacher

BE AFRAID, BE VERY AFRAID

by Doodie

(and it's the best week because by the end of it you'll be done taking the bar exam for the first time)

Find Love...The Old Fashioned Way

Right about now you're starting to panic, huh?  The stress is creeping in.  You've covered all the MBE topics and can't remember the difference between assault the crime and battery the tort.  (Which reminds me . . . Q: What did the chef do when he was angry? A: He beat the eggs and whipped the cream. Q: What made him angry? A: Dinner wasn't ready.)  And you can't seem to find any way to get rid of that stress.

You know what you need.  A little bit of lovin'.  But not from another bar studier.  That's just asking for frustration and trouble.  No, you need to find somebody new (or figure out another type of battery).

And where better to find someone new than dating sites.  We're going to start with a warm up, before you actually get hurt.  Watch this video and decide who the most datable person is.  If you like men, find someone like him, if you don't, pick the person most like you. 

Let us know who you picked in the comments.

Get Talented (a.k.a. Alternate Career Plan B)

If the "Personal" section of your resume states that you like to play golf/tennis/other upper-class sport or to travel/study languages/photograph things/other non-life threatening activity, you should probably start developing a Plan B. You are boring and no one will remember you.

Dan Mink graduated from law school, passed the bar and went on to practice law. Unlike other attorneys, however, Dan devised a Plan B that would see him through these rough economic times. Dan got talented. Not underwater basket weaving talented - more like shooting guns, throwing knives and roping things talented. You know, talents that really stand out in the "Personal" section of a resume.

Take a boring attorney, throw a western hat, matching boots and western shirt on him and you get an attorney ready to represent a client in rural Texas. If that attorney can sing and has become a World Champion Whip Performer, World Champion Gunspinner, World Champion Knife Performer and Member of the International Knife Thrower's Hall of Fame, you get an attorney who's ready to play Vegas, baby. You get Dan Mink.

Now, add rhinestones to Dan Mink's outfit, and you get a well-received contestant on America's Got Talent! VOTE DAN!

Get Ready for this Jelly (a.k.a. Career Plan B)

Jello is traditionally associated with 1950s housewifery and Mormon potlucks in Utah, but its time to move Jello into the 2000s.

Step 1 - Make the jello - Jello itself is easy enough to make if you go the instant packet route. If you want to be more high-end about it you can make it from scratch and impress the ladies/dudes.

Buy or make a mold, boil some water, add gelatin and then add some other ingredients (sugar, fruits, etc.). Put it in the fridge to set and head to bar review class.

The hard part is making jello not boring. I suggest taking cues from the UK jellymongers duo Bompas & Parr:

a) Make jello from molds of historic buildings (St. Paul's above), Buckingham Palace or the Pyramids

b) That's not impressive enough? Make city- or country-scapes! (San Fran, the U.S.)

c) Make club-worthy jello (glow in the black lights - ow ow!)

d) Add alcohol (a la the Jello Mold Mistress of Brooklyn = rum - mojito, cinnamon schnapps - cherry bomb)

e) Go AVANT GARDE with your jelly, yo!

Step 2 - ???

Step 3 - Profit