Read about current events. There are always things happening in the world, and non-law people often expect you to know about them. Although most law students and lawyers avoid non-law people, there are a few who are able to interact with these terrifying creatures. These lawyers are known as "client-friendly", and are considered very useful to law firms.

Client-friendly lawyers have some common qualities. They are usually white males, who got jobs because their parents are big names in the legal field. They also talk about things other than law. Although you can't change who your parents are, you can learn about things to talk about. Being client-friendly is why you read current events.

Donate to NAMBLA

If there is one thing that will guarantee you stable and long-term employment, it's donating to charitable organizations. Why not donate to a little-known and often marginalized group of individuals who have a lot in common with that 57-year-old guy who lives two doors down from you?

Make sure to tell your Bar Examiner all about this. Honesty is the best policy!

Learn the Law

But not from the silly lecturer on the screen.

No. We all know that nine old guys (er, 5 old guys, 1 old lady, 2 younger guys, and 1 wise younger lady) decide what the law is.  In fact, Justice Kennedy usually decides what the law is.

And Kennedy will tell us what the law is this morning, at 10:00.  The best place to follow is the live blog at ScotusBlog.  Check it out.  It sure beats this bozo telling me that I don't know how to analyze facts.

Become an Expert at Building Paper Fighter Planes

One day something bad could happen to you. Your spouse could "accidentally" poison your orange juice with some obscure chemical that would fail to show up in a toxic screening test and go unnoticed until the FBI agent and scientists assigned to your very important death identified it after examining your skeletal remains.

Or you could become disillusioned or injured and decide to pursue an alternative career path. Whether you are sick and dying of boredom in a hospital, or you are in desperate need of something interesting to say about yourself in the "personal" section of your resume, you should consider becoming an expert paper-fighter-plane-builder using your impressive origami skills.

Say you're a fan of the JK-Su 27L Flanker:

During Barbri classes, YOU could create this masterpiece of origami outrageousness:

This skill would officially make you a hardcore badass. Just ask this guy:

Or, better yet, read his heartfelt testimony at http://www.fighterplaneorigami.com/. (Yes, there are people who devote their entire lives to this majestic art.)

You could make your skillset more academic by writing an informative article on paper airplane aerodynamics!

Or, simply throw them at other classmates during Barbri videos for a good laugh to stave off sleep or to communicate messages to that lame person who refuses to use a laptop during class (you know who you are).

Imagine, you could bring an example of your impressive and sophisticated work to an interview or a first date! In your spare time, you could even visit children's carnivals or sell them on the street to tourists for easy cash! The possibilities are endless - ENJOY!

Dress Like Twins

As I look around the room today, I notice that people seem to be dressing like the person sitting next to them.  There are these pairs of dressed alike twins.  And I myself, am guilty of this.  I am wearing the same Old Navy (or was it Target?) white polo with navy blue stripes as the guy sitting two seats over (Milhouse).  Well, not the same polo, that would be silly and it would suck for the guy in the seat between us.  Last time it was the same green shorts and baby blue polo. 

So you know that one guy that nobody likes?  EVERYONE else needs to put an e-mail list together, pick an outfit, and just not tell that one guy.  Maybe he’ll cry and run home to mommy.  Or more likely, maybe everyone else will ignore you and you’ll be the idiot and will have to run home to mommy.  I hope she has Oreos.